Squatters

Do any of you guys work out at a gym? I am a regular at The Peak here in GF, and over the last couple years I have identified a unique and obnoxious form of gym rat: The Squatter.

Let me preface this by saying that my usual weightlifting workout is a combination of free weights and machines. Machines are designed for ease of use by many. The 'size' of the machine is easily adjusted, normally pursuant to a memorized numerical code. In other words, one size fits all, and if you need the seat at level "4," say, you just use the little level and, tada, the machine is now sized in a manner appropriate to your formerly lard filled a$.

Likewise with the weight. Push a lever here, and you are working out with 20, or 30, or 40 lbs, or whatever might be with your weight of choice and capability. You walk up, set the seat, set the weight, bada boom, bada bing (thank you Tony Soprano), and do your reps and your on your way.

Enter the squatter. This individual does everything right, knocks out his or her reps, and then...then...sits there. It doesn't matter that you need only 8 quick reps to finish your 4th set and that you're hovering around the dufus like a hummingbird with a flower. They...sit there.

And the mere fact that they squat tends to indicate that they are without a coherent understanding of the whole machine/circuit/lifting concept. So when you walk up and say, "Excuse me, could I do my set," you often get a strange glare in return.

"I'll be done in a minute."

"But..but..." you struggle, thinking, "you're done now for now. Move your a$$."

And then, there's a subspecies of the Squatter, the Drifter. This is generally an elderly person, new to the whole gym scene. Their workout normally consists of aimless wandering around the gym, perhaps to 7 bicep machines in a row, without thought or plan. Invariably, the Drifter will set the machine on the lightest weight possible, and do 1 set of 87 reps. I think doing one huge set gives them plenty of time to figure out your pattern. And only in that way are they capable of consistently choosing the machine you are about to use next.

Let's shower and go eat.