2/03/2006

Are We?

I have heard a great deal of talk recently about conservatives growing restless with the GOP. Frankly, I'm growing tired myself of Republicans who move left as soon as they're elected. Look, you either believe this stuff or you don't, and the opportunity to curry the favor of newspaper editors shouldn't change your beliefs.

So, I started thinking about what a new party would stand for if one were created. Thus, I have created the R-We party (for Right Wing Extremist). No, I'm not silly enough to think it's a real party, but I am hopeful we can get a little discussion about what such a party would stand for if it did exist.

But first, for the lefty trolls who will no doubt arrive, let's anticipate their posts: "The RWE party will stand for taking money from the mouths of children in order to feed the fatcat corporate internationalist cabal while lying to the rest of us about their plans to take over the world with F-15's while subjugating all people of color and women and cat lovers."

Whew. Ok, now seriously, what would such a party stand for? Some ideas:

1. The 'prime directive,' so to speak, would be the basic approach to societal problems. Rather than viewing all such problems from the perspective of 'how can government help,' we would view them from the perspective of how can we get government out of your way so you can solve the problem and succeed on your own? Vague? Yes. But if that's not the conservative philosophy, then I'm in the wrong room.

2. Make choices matter to individuals. Rather than creating government programs to insulate people from the consequences of bad decisions (which will encourage more bad decisions), government benefits (if any) should be given to those who make good decisions.

3. Recreate the educational model. Face it, our educational system is failing us. Even if you're a lefty who wants to blame it all on lack of funding (a crock), the fact is we have limited resources. We have to do a better job with what we have. And the new model cannot be developed by the existing education administration/bureaucracy/hierarchy. They can play a role, but they've had control long enough and they haven't exactly excelled. Why we consider the custodians of a failed system to be the experts is beyond me.

4. (You have to allow me one goofy idea) Voluntary Prisons. What? Voluntary prisons? Yes, we will begin building huge, enclosed areas, small cities, really, in less populated areas. Inside, all that is illegal is legal. Drugs? Yup, available and free. Prostitution? Mayhem? All that good stuff? All legal.

Every citizen gets three tries. Sign up for the voluntary prison program, go in for as long as you like (or as long as you live), and you get to come out twice. The third time you go in, you stay in for life. So, what's the catch? Well, there's a few of them.

First, once you sign up, conviction of a felony outside of the voluntary prison means your minimum sentence is life in the prison. Second, what if you escape once you're a permanent resident? You get shot. No trial needed, really. If we find you outside the prison, you die.

Society provides food, water, and drugs. Inmates provide the order.

Anyone? R-We? Right wing extremists?

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